The Olympics begin (again)

Well, first we had the news that the games had begun, three days before the opening ceremony. This seemed like a slightly unusual way of doing things but this is China. So, it therefore seems that things might be happening a few days before we get to see them in order for all the pictures to be vetted and edited, if they showed something unacceptable to the Beijing authorities. But now, things are in full swing and we are able to view endless hours of coverage of all the sports that we choose not to watch at any other time. This is why, when I felt lazy yesterday afternoon, I found myself staring at men's gymnastics. There are many problems with gymnastics. The first one is that, to the uninitiated, after a while, every competitor on any given apparatus, seems to do exactly the same thing. And, of course, just my luck, as soon as I diverted my attention to make a phone call, somebody at last fell off and I missed it. Scoring of course is a mystery which I suspect takes as its model the Eurovision voting system. It appears to be perfectly possible for a competitor whose performance the commentators cannot fault to score less points that one whose errors are shown in slow motion and explained by the experts. But perhaps the biggest problem with gymnastics is that it seems impossible to find any reason for it to exist. Every aspect of it seems to be utterly pointless with the added risk of potentially being able to hurt yourself quite badly. Other sports, in however esoteric a way, seem to have some basis in usefulness. The fencers and judo players can defend themselves. The runners can escape from danger if they happen not to be fencers or judo players. The shooters, archers and spear chuckers can kill a meal. The walkers and cyclists can get from A to B in good time. The players of team sports can demonstrate teamwork that could help them work together on a difficult task. But the gymnasts ... At what stage in human history could survival chances be improved by being able to hang upside down from two hoops? Whilst being able to vault over a wall has undoubtedly been a useful skill to some in the past, it is likely that doing so (with a sheep under you arm) is not helped by incorporating somersaults and twists into the manoeuvre. But what bugs me the most is that there might have been a Chinese competitor who fell off every piece of apparatus in spectacular comic fashion - and all the footage rests in ashes in the incinerator of Communist Party Headquarters.