McCain assured of UK job after Presidential Elections

London - Sources within No. 10 have today confirmed plans to offer a high profile cabinet position to the runner-up in the US Presidential Elections later this year. As the person concerned will have succeeded in losing the biggest prize in the world, they should fit in nicely in the newly created role of Secretary of State for Looking after Confidential Data. A Government spokeperson added that "To date, most of our losses of personal data have been small, usually just a few CDs worth. By bringing in a skilled, high profile loser, we anticipate being able to move to a situation where we can lose DVDs - thereby bringing about a seven fold performance improvement." There is however concern in Whitehall that if Barack Obama's inevitable assassination takes place sufficiently close to the election date that Mr. McCain might get elected with no official loser to the contest. Sources suggest that, in such circumstances, there is a strong possibility that the post will be offered to Tim Henman.