NEWSLINK
The Newsletter of the
Mudeford Men’s Club
Autumn 2010
"NO WE CAN'T!"
If it IS broke, don’t fix it either.
I always enjoy writing Newslink but not this time. It has been suggested to me (officially) that I “keep it happy” but happiness seems to be a commodity in very short supply at the moment. Anyway, I’ll try to put a nice happy spin on everything …
As you will all know by now, the planned extension work is “on hold” as the costs that came in were way out of line with what had been originally suggested. So, happily, we will not have to shut down for building work or saddle ourselves with a great big debt.
Those of you who read the Committee Minutes (there must be someone!) will see that our bank balance appears usually to be smaller than our debts. There are very strong feelings on both sides regarding our financial position. It seems that either everything is hunky dory or we’re doomed. Quite a spread of views to have across one committee that presumably looks at the same set of figures???
Happily however, an EGM has now been called for Wednesday 22nd September to discuss this issue at which, no doubt, everyone will reach a pleasant agreement and we can saunter joyously along once again without a care in the world.
Long standing stalwart of the Committee Gordy Nash has decided to stand down from all duties and I’m sure everyone would like to thank him for his many years of work. Happily though, he will now be able to spend more time with his wife Penny.
You may also have heard a rumour circulating regarding the result of the lawsuit between the Club and former Committee member Carl Foster. Happily, I have been instructed by members of the Committee to inform you that this case is still ongoing and as such, no details can be discussed. It is strongly recommended that members ignore any rumours that they may hear.
Finally, the issue that everyone is trying not to talk about – the Equality Act. Don’t mention the Equality Act. I may have mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. See http://www.equalities.gov.uk/ for more details.
As requested, I will say nothing about this until the Club Solicitor has completed his investigations and, thereby, hopefully keep everyone even happier.
Marrow Competition
It seems to have been a bad year for gardeners with everyone seemingly having problems with their crops. As a result, entries were down by about a third on last year. This was more than made up for by the many members who turned up and took part in various ways, made a donation, judged a category or bought produce.
And, as we had some categories without three entries, this meant we had some extra prizes to give away to runners up.
The Tomatoes saw another triumph for John Sellick (1.74kg) with Kevin Robinson 2nd, Hugh Jones 3rd and Sandra King 4th.
Next was the Best Jam and, just like every other year, my masterpiece was cruelly overlooked by the judges. Instead, the title went to Hugh Jones with his damson jam. Hugh sadly wasn’t present for the ceremony hence no photo. Dave Thomas threatened not to be there but was and came 2nd with his Blackberry & Apple with Sue Sutton 3rd (Simply Blackberry) and Mary Taylor 4th (Plum Jam).
Just like the Jams, the Chutney was very well supported and the prize went to Tony Gabb for his Red Tomato Chutney. However, on arrival to collect his prize, Tony revealed that it was actually Mrs Gabb’s entry but she wasn’t there to revel in her glory. Sue Sutton was 2nd with Mango & Ginger. Tina Sellick was 3rd with Tomato Chutney and Mary Taylor picked up another 4th (and another bottle) for her Piccalilli.
This year’s “silly competition” was to produce a Miniature Garden on a Plate. Once more it was Liz Westall who triumphed with a plate filled with specially grown grass, home grown flowers and runner beans and a little man sunbathing whilst his trusty robot did the gardening. Jean Stickland’s ornate offering got 2nd whilst, going down another route all together, yours truly got 3rd (out of 3!) with a miniature Graeme Garden mounted on an image of the River Plate. Robbed, again!
So, with all the categories awarded, this left only the big prize of Overall Winner to decide. It was very close – Liz Westall had two 1st places and a 3rd and was awarded the Runners Up prize. Pipping her at the post, and 2010 Champion was John Sellick with two 1st places and a 2nd. He now has a 1.5 litre bottle of whiskey to drink as he admires his trophies!
Finally, with a splendid vegetable basket provided by Dave Sweetman and friends as a prize, we asked you to guess how many varieties of plant have got seeds stored in the Millennium Seed Bank at Kew Gardens. The correct answer was 27,651 and nearest the bull was Joe Hamilton with a guess of 28,100. I won’t reveal any names but one person, when asked, replied “Probably two or three.”
I’m delighted to say that ALL the produce was sold after the judging and after all expenses were deducted, you raised £128.35 for the Charity fund (plus £1 which fell out of a money bag in my pocket and was found when I got home!)
We still have a lot of people who choose to pay on the day, rather than put their names down on the entry forms in advance. Could I please explain once more, that the more money we collect before the competition, the more we can spend on the prizes. So, next year, please put your name down on the list. After all, paying in advance is half the price of paying on the day!
Open goals
Your President, Laurie Wilkinson, often asks me to leave him out of the Newslink. This can be tricky as, when any trophies are presented (see above), he’s normally the one presenting them. I do try, but when I am presented with open goals, how can I possibly resist …
However, I shall be self-disciplined and not mention about how a certain un-named person managed to shut down the entire world-wide data network of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office whilst installing some equipment.
Also, I will not mention who I was sitting next to at a cricket match as the evening drew in.
Mr X: “It’s quite dark out there, I can’t even see the ball.”
Me: “Try taking off your sunglasses.”
I shall also conceal the identity of the person who very proudly informed me that he had acquired a batch of tickets to see Paul McCartney (and several other big names) in Hyde Park - at a cost of £6 each. Several times we had the same conversation:
Me: “You do not get Paul McCartney tickets for £6.”
Mr X: “I’ve checked it out and they’re genuine.”
Now, I hate to be the one to say “I told you so” but …
On arrival at Hyde Park, it transpired that the tickets were indeed genuine. Genuine tickets for the hire of six lockers for the storage of personal possessions during the gig!
Spot the difference prize competition
Can you spot the difference between the two almost identical pictures below? The lucky winner will receive a prize of some tickets for one of these attractions.
Entertainment news
Entertainment recently has recently been hit by a number of setbacks. Sundays have seen one artist pull out with illness the day before, one pull out with illness after 30 minutes of performing and one pull out because of a very ill relative in hospital. Saturdays meanwhile have seen a band (The Bugattis) turn up with 50% stand-in musicians. I have to point out that both of them are superb musicians in their own right but there was no set list and one of the “usual” band members selected songs as he went along. The selection of songs played was described by one member as “music to cut your wrists by!” This is possibly putting it mildly.
My apologies to all and my assurance that you won’t see their name on the schedule again.
And to finish it off, our Bank Holiday DJ, Jason Dean, has left the country, but at least he did organise a replacement.
Being more positive, I know a lot of you are talking about a Wii night and we are really trying to get this together. As soon as we know we can get the thing to work with the projector and can get the necessary cabling in, it will be organised (hopefully for Oct/Nov). If anyone would like to lend us a Wii for an hour or two, to see if it works, please get in touch.
[Web-only update: Many thanks to the Giffins for a loan of a Wii. We did indeed then buy the cables, plugged it all in and, quick as a flash, nothing happened. The second set of cables are now on order and we'll see if we have any more luck with these.]
We’re going to try an experiment in September. As we have a great projector now, let’s see if we can’t make more use of it. And, yes, being honest, saving the Club a couple of hundred quid helps too!
So, as a trial, on Sep 11th (appropriately enough, a date already synonymous with disaster) we’ll have a Big Screen Gig Night. Essentially, it’s a live concert, shown on the big screen with sound though our disco system. I think it will be quite impressive.
If it works, perhaps we can do it three or four times a year. I’ve got some more concerts that I can dig out and I’m sure that many of you will have too. Let me know if you have something that you think people will enjoy.
For the first one, we’ll have a double feature. First up, it will be an hour in the company of Bruce Springsteen and the (15 piece) Seeger Sessions Band playing foot tapping arrangements of traditional songs in an old London church.
The main event, I can’t recommend highly enough, whether you are/were a fan of the band or not. Last year, Ultravox reformed 24 years on from when they last all played together at Live Aid. With the benefit of modern musical technology, they can now do what the primitive equipment of the day made very difficult. The result was amazing and you won’t believe this is a four piece band with no off-stage musicians or backing tapes.
What’s more, very unusually, this is the entire concert from start to finish with no editing. All the mistakes are left in. I saw the show a few days before this recording and it was staggeringly good. You’ll hear 12 of the 14 singles they released (with this particular line up) as well as half a dozen album tracks that are all worth a listen.
Other stuff coming up …
September
Sat 11th Big Screen Gig (Springsteen & Ultravox)
Sat 18th DLB Disco – New Act
Sun 19th Laurence (Lunchtime)
Sat 25th Envy
October
Sat 2nd Mista Beat
Sat 9th Wii Night or In-house Disco TBC
Sun 10th Paul Hammond (Lunchtime)
Sat 16th Alpine Roadshow (Ext)
Sat 23rd Filmed Race Night (Ext)
Sun 24th Alan Preston (Lunchtime)
Sat 30th Rapport – New Act
Finally, not really Entertainments but I had to put it somewhere. Please be aware that Sunday Tote tickets are now available from behind the bar during the week. So those of you that don’t come in on Sunday lunchtime can now win too.
Alternatively, you could try supporting the Club for an hour on a Sunday.
Sports and games news
The Mickey House Trophy
This multi-game competition against the Conservative Club was resurrected after a break of a few years and our thanks go to Judy Janes for pulling it together.
After the home leg, we were in an almost unassailable position thanks to a good all-round performance in which (if I remember correctly) the Men’s Darts won 8-1 and the snooker boys won 9-0!
During the away leg, The Conservative Club decided that they would concede before all the matches were finished to allow time for presentation of the trophy. Although they did point out that despite losing it last time, we had kept hold of it for the intervening years!
Many thanks to all the ladies and gents who participated and if anyone wants to take part next year, please make themselves known to a member of the Ents Committee.
In the recent Race Night, funds were raised for the Cricket Club who benefited to the tune of £230, which will buy a few balls for next season! The next Race Night, in October, will support the Football Club so please turn out in force again for a great evening
2010/11 charity fundraising.
It will soon be time once again to decide which good causes will receive charitable donations this year. If you have any ideas, please submit them to the Ents Committee (or pop it in the Suggestions Box).
Meanwhile, we have again had a fantastic collection of supermarket vouchers for local schools. A total of 8,939 Tesco and Sainsbury’s vouchers were donated to Mudeford and Burton schools. Superb.
Also, the 19th June saw around 100 members attend the annual Pussyfoot Dinner and enjoy comedian Adger Brown in fine form. A collection for Help For Heroes which (in conjunction with a fundraising race night) raised a marvellous £573! Also, a special thanks to all the people in the Club and the Village Hall whose hard work makes Pussyfoot possible.
Coming soon …
The Christmas Draw – tickets are always on sale but expect to be poked in the ribs to cough up soon!
The start of the Christmas knockout competitions. See the Notice Board NOW.
Eddie Carr trophy (snooker comp using just 3 reds)
Check the notice board for details of the Childrens’
Christmas party (11th Dec) and the annual pantomime trip.
Sloe gin (and brandy) competition (Dec).
Charity Month with various events (Dec).
Ladies’ Night – the planned trip to the Sound of Music was looking like it would be too expensive to attract much interest. Ladies’ Night is therefore on hold awaiting news of other upcoming shows.
Articles for sale
Following a suggestion from Clive Vassie, we will try out an “Items for sale” section in Newslink. Each entry will cost £2 per item being sold. Maximum of 30 words and sorry, no photos. Please place your ad, with your money in an envelope in the wall safe, marked “NEWSLINK ADS”.
Please bear in mind that the Club accepts no responsibility for any transactions. See the goods for yourself before you pay for them!
Hopefully, the few pounds raised will reduce or even cover the costs of printing Newslink.
For sale
Several lockers, unused. Location: Hyde Park.
Bought for £6 each, will take £3.
Contact L. Wilkinson Mr. X.
Club website - by Paul Rogers
The website is now completely up and running. You will find information about the Club, its Officers and Committee, History of the Club, Bye Laws, Newsletter, Message Board, What’s On, Sports, Links and a Charities Board. What’s On – Entertainment (information supplied by your Social Secretary Richard Leyshon), Bingo, Club Outings, Competitions, Draws, Dinners, Fantasy Football, Poker and the Quiz. So plan your weekend to see which band or disco is playing and don’t forget Race Nights.
Sports – Cricket has all the season’s fixtures. Darts has links to websites that have information on tables, fixtures, players and statistics. Football has links to Bournemouth Divisional FA for fixtures and results. Other sports are Fishing, Golf and Snooker. If you are involved in a sport and it’s not on the website, collate the information together with images if possible and send me an e-mail to the address below, I will then create a new page.
Send me an e-mail at website@mudefordmens.co.uk if you have anything that you would like to see on the website. Please help me to keep the pages up-to-date with the information that I need. Also note that you may now contact the Committee via email on this address: committee@mudefordmens.co.uk
Log on to check out all the pages on your new website at http://www.mudefordmens.co.uk/. Changes to various pages happen every week. Make sure you don’t miss out on an event in the club.
We currently have 146 e-mail addresses on the mailing list. I would like to check that this list is up-to-date, so could all members send me their e-mail addresses with their Membership No, stating whether they are on the list, would like to be on the list or even taken off the list. The Membership No. will help delete e-mails in the future for members who have left the club. Thank you.
Fantasy Football - by Paul Rogers
The new Premier League Season is upon us once again and this competition is open to all members and ladies this year. The Mudeford Men’s League – Fantasy Football started on the 14th August and this will be the 2nd year we have had a league of our own.
At the time of writing, the Managers we have are last year’s winner Rob Boulton , Gary Boyt, Chris Nicholls, Russell Linney, Karl Stark and myself who competed last year. New Managers this season are Jackie Goss, Leighton Davies, Dave Davies, Derek Ellwood, Robin Lovegrove, John Challen, Adrian Prosser, Mark Vassie, Gordon Wallace and my wife Jill Rogers (I will be praying that I don’t finish below her, mind you I can have the sound up on the television when the football’s on now).
View the page on the website
http://www.mudefordmens.co.uk/Fantasy2010.html for the up-to-date information and Gameweek tables. Check how the teams are doing, my comments and reminders of the rule changes, in the weeks to come. Then click the link at the bottom of the page to the Premier League website http://fantasy.premierleague.com/ the managers can log in and change their team (if necessary).
Welcome to all the managers and good luck.
Your letters and emails
Thanks for the 30 jokes received (22 of them from Ray Watson!). They are appreciated. However, in these cash strapped times, if you want a prize, please write about something that affects the Club. Let’s be honest, you are spoiled for choice right now!
And finally, from a source who wishes to remain anonymous …
Sunday 4th July 09:15
In the peaceful streets of Mudeford, RNLI members were enjoying their Sunday breakfasts when the tranquillity was broken by the sound of many pagers going off. From all directions, local men ran to the Lifeboat Station where a call from the Portland Coastguard informed them of a distress call received from someone in a dinghy, south of Hengistbury Head. He had no life jacket, no radio, no auxiliary motor.
On arriving at the scene, some wag in the lifeboat enquired of the man in the dinghy, “We’re looking for someone in a dinghy, in distress. Seen anyone?” The occupant looked all around before replying that no, he hadn’t seen anyone.
After this surreal moment, the rescue proceeded.
I was going to print the name of the person concerned but on reflection, I should Delete it, it wouldn’t be Smart to print in case of a libel suit.
Contact Newslink
Write to Newslink via the Club.
E-mail via the Club web site.
Call Rich Leyshon on xxxxx xxxxxx
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