Newslink September 2008

This newsletter was created (free of charge) for Mudeford Men's club by Lware Limited. Please note that images and formatting are absent. NEWSLINK The Newsletter of the Mudeford Men’s Club September 2008 Medal success for Mudeford! Forget the Olympics- the real news is that MMC has been winning things left right and centre. In just a few short weeks we have won our annual matches against Southbourne Ex Services in snooker, golf and bowls! Not only that, but since the last Newslink there have been many other success stories for the Club. The Pussyfoot Dinner was thought to be one best in recent memory, if not ever. Pussyfoot – June 2008 Ladies Night this year involved a trip to see “Joseph” in Bournemouth and reports state that it was a brilliant night. We can’t forget the annual jolly to Ascot and of course the Marrow Competition - and we’ve even had some submissions to Newslink! Sadly though, you will be aware that we recently lost Ken Falla, a man with many years of dedicated service to the Club as both President and Secretary. We don’t normally do obituaries as, sadly, there would be room for little else, but, on this occasion, by special request of the Committee, Laurie would like to say a few words about Ken and his contribution. “A wonderful work colleague and friend, Ken was President twice and then secretary for 10 years – a feat which I doubt will be surpassed. I remember my last AGM as Vice-President, in Ken’s speech he said that he loved the work he did for MMC and its members and, if he started his life over, he would do it all again. He never stopped working for the club, his last piece of craftsmanship being the Charity Board that is on the wall in the lounge bar. Ken was a true gentleman; I was proud to be his friend and will miss him greatly, as I am sure many members will. Rest in Peace.” Bowls – by Eric Jesty - “IT’S BACK!” The annual bowls match with Southbourne Ex Service Club was played on the 15th June 2008, for the first leg, and the 17th August 2008 for the second. A great turn around this year, the first leg was won by 33. This was a wonderful effort by all players, and a good morning was had by all. The second leg was closer, 83/83. So thanks to the 33 lead in the first leg, the Toucher Trophy comes back to Mudeford where it was made by that master with a piece of wood, Albert Raven. My thanks to the club for sponsoring the match, and my thanks to all the players for their support. (Well played). The victorious bowlers Looking forward to next year and bringing the trophy back again. PS The trophy will be presented in the club later. Bob Sellick forgot to get it from the engravers! Golf by John Oliver The Golf Society, now in it’s second year, continues to make good progress. In April, on a blustery afternoon 19 members played the testing Knighton Heath course. The Winner was Howard Knight with 37 points. A good score under the difficult conditions. Winner of the nearest the pin was Ian Thomson and the longest drive went to newcomer Mike Snow. Mark Roper, Fred Sadler and Paul Sadler about to tee off In June the Society played Meyrick Park, again on a blustery day. Excellent scoring, and our erudite Social Secretary, Mark Roper come home first with an enterprising 33 points. Despite a 2 shot cut to his handicap, Mark again won the day at Moors Valley in July, with an outstanding score of 42 points (which will lead to a further 4 shot reduction to his handicap!) Update - 28th August 2008 After a good summer of golf the Mudeford Members excelled themselves with a splendid win, on August 22nd at Dudsbury, against the ‘Old Enemy’ – Southbourne Ex-Servicemen’s Club. On a splendidly warm, sunny afternoon, 12 members of each Club tee’d off for a 4 ball better ball contest. The result was a win for the MMC 4 games to 2. So the MMC regained the trophy lost to Southbourne in 2007 and it will now grace our trophy cabinet for the next year. The golf Society continues to grow in numbers and welcomes all new members from the Club. The final day of the 2008 season will be at Bulbury Woods on the 19th September, when members will play an 18 holes competition, and after lunch a further 9 hole contest. This will round up the excellent year for the Golf Society, with bigger things in the pipeline for 2009. Darts – by Paul Groves At the end of June Mudeford b darts team and Southbourne Ex Servicemen’s Club 5 a side football team (plus a few others) got together for a weekend in Magaluf Majorca. This was to celebrate a few 40th birthdays and a 50th birthday (no names no embarrassment) Great time was had by all with a mixed age group all coming together for a great weekend, 18 of us in all went. We were even out there for the Euro 2008 final and of coarse we all cheered for the Spanish to win, couldn't see a German for toffee after the defeat. but a great night, those Spanish know how to celebrate, major lack of sleep that night. The older ones of us took a week to get over it!!!!! In the photo you can see some well know faces even a committee member can be seen. Marrow Competition Sunday 7th September saw the annual Marrow Competition. It was another great lunchtime, with live music from Paul Hammond and an extension too! The first prize winners Before getting into the lists of winners it is only right that thanks are given to the many people without whose help it would not have been possible. I’m bound to forget someone so please don’t take offence if it’s you! Firstly, as ever, the wonderful staff behind the bar (and Kirsty who helped us avoid a disaster!) who do so much more than just keep us supplied with drinks. Thanks also to Laurie and Roger for their support and advice in the run up to the event and to Roger for being MC on the day. We must thank the judges. Doreen Davis and Jacqui Reddell judged both the flower arrangements and the funniest vegetable categories. Thanks also to Jacky Ellwood and Norman “The Laird” Grindley for judging the Jam and Chutney respectively - despite the fact that they both made a gross error in not recognising the brilliance of the Rummy Plum Pot and the Cherry Tomato and Celery chutney which both somehow got overlooked when the prizes were awarded. A mystery indeed. As a thank you gift, Norman was presented with a pot of horseradish sauce – given that he had just won four prizes on the meat draw (although to be fair, he did put back two of them). Alas, for poor Norman, he couldn’t appreciate his roast beef when he got home due to his mouth still being on fire due to the chilli content of one of the chutneys! Special thanks also to Gordon Nash and Mo Marshall who spent at least two hours measuring and weighing everything whilst constantly battling a very uncooperative set of bathroom scales! Also, Ray Reddell did a fantastic job selling “raffle” tickets. Now, this was to have been the “Guess the weight of the cabbage” competition. However, a slight fly in the ointment was the lack of a suitable (or indeed any) cabbage. With typical good grace, Roger agreed to change the competition from “Guess the weight of the cabbage” to “Guess the weight of the Vice President” – insert your own joke here. The prize was a magnificent teddy bear very kindly donated by Terry Wright and a bottle of Cava donated by Roger. We had a dead heat for first place between Iris Drayson and Steve Sloper who both guessed an 10 stone 5 pounds. In a fiercely contested play off, Iris claimed the win after being closest to guessing the weight of Clive Vassie. And what’s more, Iris kindly donated the teddy back to us so you’ll probably see that raising a good sum of money for charity over the Christmas period. And let’s not forget the people who very kindly donated prizes and indeed produce to sell on the day, they include: The Committee, the Brewery, Brian Jerrard, Roger Masterman, Moira Sterland, Gordon Nash and Norman Grindley Finally, a big thank you to everyone who paid the £1 to take part and everyone who bought produce or guessed at Roger’s weight. Due to your generosity, we were able to put £132.80 into the charity fund. Now, to the serious business of the winners … In the Marrow category, Percy Caws sneaked in for 3rd prize by just 2 ounces whilst Dave Sweetman took second. But the clear winner with a weight of 21 pounds 3 ounces (9.61kg) was Danny Drayson. Moving onto the Pumpkins, Percy and Dave swapped places in second and third respectively and, yes, you guessed it, another clear win for Danny Drayson with an excellent 44.5 pound (20.2kg) specimen. These two wins were enough to secure Danny the title of Overall Winner, The Jim Ward Memorial Trophy for a year and a 1.5 litre bottle of whiskey. Danny, to his great credit, donated the whiskey for auction and (if my memory serves me correctly, this was bought by Hugh Jones, raising £27 for the charity fund). Kind of ironic that even in the rare event of Hugh not winning the title himself, he still got the whiskey! Special mention also has to be made of Denis Webb who entered his “pumpkin” which was too small to register on even the kitchen scales. After a quick dash down the road to Stanpit Wines by Liz, Denis was presented, appropriately, with a miniature of whiskey. HOWEVER: Upon closer inspection after the competition, Denis’s blatant fraud was uncovered when the “pumpkin” was discovered to be plastic! But since he auctioned off the miniature for charity, at several times face value, I suppose we can let him off! In the Runner Beans category the competition was much closer with Tony Gabb gaining third place with a combined length of 102.8 inches. In second place was Anne Jerrard (111 inches) but pipping her to the post was Brian Jerrard with 112.2 inches (285 cm). Onions, and it was another prize for Brian Jerrard (third) with renowned onion expert Eric Jesty in second but this year it was Terry Wright who was the popular winner with a magnificent 12 pounds 7.5 ounces (5.65kg). In the tomatoes, there was an excellent 3rd prize for Joan Pinfield who hadn’t been planning on entering until she was bullied into it (mentioning no names, Liz)! Jack Marland took second place just three ounces behind winner Hugh Jones (3 pounds 10 ounces). The Funniest Veg competition was a bit of a let down. In the past, when it had to be a potato, there were lots of entries. When you got the choice of any vegetable you like, we got only two and they were both spuds! Anyway, Liz Westall took second with her “unbaked spud” complaining about the so called “summer” we didn’t have and Denis Webb was selected as winner for his family of three potato ducks (at least I think they were ducks!). We haven’t found out yet if and how Denis cheated in this category but no doubt the truth will one day emerge! There was strong competition in the Floral Arrangement in a cup and saucer. The judges couldn’t split Julie Lockwood and Liz Westall who shared 3rd prize (lucky we had that spare prize from the silly veg!) with 2nd place going to Jean Ellwood while Pat Bearman was the winner with a home grown offering (another victim of Liz’s “encouragement!”) The Jams and Chutneys are always good competitions with some real experts taking part, and also me. So it was all the more pleasing to see some new names taking on the big boys … In the Jam, Liz Westall took 3rd with a blackberry and apple recipe which I can confirm (with inside knowledge) is getting better the longer it matures, or whatever it is that jams do. Dave Jones’ Strawberry and Apricot took second place but it was our esteemed Secretary, John Oliver, who took the glory with his Greengage Jam. If like me, you aren’t too familiar with the Greengage, it is “an edible drupaceous fruit, a cultivar of the plum.” Right, that’s that cleared up then. It was apparently imported into Britain in 1724 by Sir William Gage. As the Daily Mail would no doubt point out – “Bloody foreign fruit coming over here and taking work away from our British plums.” Anyway, well done John. But the Oliver glory didn’t end there as Sally Oliver took first prize in the chutney with her Onion Marmalade which was to die for, so Norman tells me. Normal service was resumed with the chutney-meister Hugh Jones claiming 2nd and 3rd prizes with his Irish Marrow and Green Bean offerings. And if you have any suggestions for next year’s comp, please let us know and make a note on your calendars to get planting next year! The Poker League Wednesday nights (8pm start) have seen the introduction of the Texas Hold ‘Em poker league. Entrants pay a £5 entry fee each week with a cash prize for the winner and earn points for reaching the latter stages of each week’s competition. The game is then played for chips, not cash, so you won’t lose your house! Some of the prize money is put to one side to be played for in the final where the top 16 points scorers will compete for the title. However, so far only 16 people have taken part so, if a few more of you join in, then there really will be something to compete for. And with five players yet to score points, someone could easily start playing now and still make the final. And can I say that it’s nice to see some lady members getting involved. Current standings are as follows: Nick Coates – 14 pts Kevin Hastings and Jeff Cossey – 10 pts Rob Boulton and Richard Thomas – 8 pts Darren Keeping – 5 pts Julia Brolan – 4 pts Richard Biggs – 3 pts Denise Hayes, Gordon Wallace and Ben Woodhouse – 2 pts Jeff Morgan, Nathan Farrant, Paul Meade, Harry Sloper and Glenn Wilkinson – 0 pts. Weekend entertainment For those who venture out at the weekends … September Sat 13th Lucky Sat 20th Coroma Disco Sun 21st Paul Hammond Sat 27th Blowin' Free October Sat 4th DJ Langer Sat 11th (Ext’n) Football Club Fund Raiser Filmed Race Night Sun 12th Paul Hammond Sat 18th Adagio Music Sat 25th Gold Disco November Sat 1st Odessa Sat 8th Gem Roadshow Sat 15th(Ext’n) 40's 50's 60's Night Sun 16th Paul Hammond Sat 22nd Cookie Roadshow Sat 29th (Ext’n) Cabaret Night with Xerox and Des Law December Sat 6th DJ Langer Sat 13th Brian Moon & the Satellites Sat 20th (Ext’n) Christmas Draw Xmas Eve Coroma Disco Boxing Day Arfur Word Sat 27th Filmed Race Night NYE Wed 31st Cookie Roadshow Upcoming events Cabaret night – 29th November Charity month – launched 29th November Eddie Carr Trophy – October Your letters & emails Wow, I can’t believe it. It took a year and a half to happen but this month the entries have been flooding in. This is especially good as it means I won’t have to upset anyone else by publishing anagrams of their names to fill the space! I think it’s only fair that the honour of being the first winner should go to Rick/Fred Wood (so good they named him twice!) for this set of amazing coincidences linking Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy. Rick, if you’d care to have a word with the Steward, you’ll find £10 worth of drinks waiting for you behind the bar. Well done! Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theatre named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.' Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot … (you can fill this bit in yourselves) And this wins a pint for Clive Vassie We have edited this one as it made War and Peace look like a recipe for beans on toast! Please note that any issues related to ill health or sudden death caused by following the advice in this article should be addressed to Mr. C. Vassie and NOT Newslink! Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life, is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it … don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruit and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all… Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have one body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only do sit ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. And another pint goes to … Dave Ashby - who found a newspaper cutting (we don’t know the paper or the date) with a poem about the Marrow Competition. Can any member give us a clue who might have written it and where or when it was published? Ode to a Pumpkin Winston grew a pumpkin, It grew both fat and wide, But when he came to pick it up To give the thing a ride, Down to the Mudeford Men’s Club For the annual marrow night He found he couldn’t lift it He tried with all his might. He pulled the thing, he pushed it, It was plain he needed help, Four men it took to lift it, It made them puff and yelp. At the club it arrived for all to see And was rolled across the floor, Now we know why the committee Decided to widen that old front door. Contact info … Write to Newslink via the Club. E-mail via the Club website www.mudefordmens.co.uk Or call Rich Leyshon on xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx