Uxbridge English Dictionary - part 4

Paracetamol – Airborne soldier gives up his chair for gangster’s girlfriend

Parisian – Claim Hislop is your father

Percussion – Knocked senseless by a drummer

Permafrost – David Jason night on television

Perspire – kind of poll tax for cathedrals

Pompous – what an Aussie doctor removes from an Englishman’s boil

Procure – in favour of the medicine

Procure – Medicine not for amateurs

Prolapse – lady of the night loses concentration

Quandary - a fast launderette

Quicksilver - 2nd in the 100m

Ramrod – Deliberately drive into Mr. Stewart

Removes – concerning the dance routine

Reply – try to soften her up with drink for a second time

Revere – to swerve a second time

Stalagtite – POW camp for misers

Surplus – too many lords

Transistor - female sibling that wears men's clothes

Untidy - moving in a way that does not resemble the sea

Veritable – more like a table

Whippet - to train a dog with cruelty

X-rays - Messers Charles, McAnally and Baxter

Yearly - (Brummie) you have arrived too soon

Zulu - toilets at Whipsnade

Uxbridge English Dictionary - part 3

Fanciful – not wanting an empty one

Grotesque - rather like ancient currency

Heirloom - machine for weaving stage costumes for air guitarists

Helix – A contented wife

Hornet - a small horn

Insinuate – consumed food whilst breaking a commandment

Justice - frozen water and nothing more

Kinetic – Prince Philip annoyed by his loft

Lingers – Fishermen interested in only one species

Malingers – Can’t get rid of mother

Manure – Midge after puberty

Melodrama – Story set in a hippy commune

Messiah – move clutter to the top shelf

Minimalist – Register of dwarf mothers

Molest – The girl most like a gangster’s girlfriend

Munchkin - keep cannibalism within the family (see Antifreeze)

Novice - lacking the necessary tool to securely hold the piece of wood

Outside - the team no longer batting

Overlord - halo

Uxbridge English Dictionary - part 2

Deform – remove from class

Delinquent – The chain snapped

Delusion – removing the toilet

Demure – Device to silence cattle

Deplete – Iron out the folds

Deride – get off the horse

Dermatologist – German rug expert

Detail – found at the back of West Indian dogs

Devastate – a very large pack of forwards

Devoid – Shaped like a Coronation Street shopkeeper

Digester – Welsh comedian

Dipole – Welshman brought up in Warsaw

Diversity – Welsh seat of higher education

Divine – where Jamaican grapes are grown

Effluent – highly computer literate

Ejaculate – Inform Yorkshireman that he is not on time

Etiquette – Prince Philip’s miniature loft

Evolution – sticky hand cream

Exclaim – failed compensation attempt

Uxbridge English Dictionary - part 1

If there's anyone out there that isn't familiar with Radio 4s "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" - it often features a round entitled "Uxbridge English Dictionary" - as opposed to be somewhat better known Oxford version.

The players take turns in coming up with definitions of words that may be a tad off the mark. Hopefully most of these haven't already been used on the show (I didn't nick any, honest!)

Abacus – Swedish pop quartet use unsuitable language

Abattoir – French trio impersonate Swedish group

Adroit – Brummies agree on correctness of advertisement

Antifreeze - when she's too big to consume in one meal (see Munchkin)

Artichokes – Mr. Garfunkel splutters and coughs

Bastion - tiny but unpopular charged particle

Behold - a hive

Cemented – driven mad by sailors

Conclusion – Magician makes nose disappear

Confine – the scam is working well

Confluence – Faked hypnosis

Conjoin – blend together more than one scam

Constrain – Transport prisoners by rail

Continental - be driven mad by Europeans

Contraband – Nicaraguan musical group

Convergence – Lead a man to falsely believe he is the first

Convince – Appropriate Van Gogh’s money by deception

Convulsion – A deep dislike of Tories