Newslink Christmas 2007

This newsletter was produced (free of charge by Lware Limited for Mudeford Men's Club, Christchurch. Formatting and images are not included. NEWSLINK The Newsletter of the Mudeford Men’s Club December 2007 Happy New Year Another year draws to a close as 2008 beckons. But we can’t let 2007 go without reviewing some of the highs (and lows) of the year. In 2007: The Club donated thousands of pounds to local charities The Club continues to be plagued by idiotic accusations and inaccurate press coverage due to an expelled member’s actions The club left the CIU, freeing us to admit who we choose as members and run the club by our rules (not to mention saving some money) Committee member Gordon Nash featured in the Daily Echo after failing to spot the getaway car for a robbery parked outside his house all morning. Was Nashy really Hoovering or did the “Godfather” turn a blind eye? Gordon and Jacqui Wallace and Fred and Jenny Wood were honoured at the Dinner Dance 1,500 members and 300 lady members between them managed to generate a total of zero letters and emails to this newsletter 126 members manage to vote in committee elections Mark Roper was honoured at Pussyfoot The Club won the Organisation of the Year Award from the Council Smokers were finally driven from the building to the specially adapted, no expense spared, all weather piece of tarmac by the back door. We lost the services of Jeff and Tori from behind the bar The cricket club gained promotion for the firsts and seconds Several great new acts have appeared on Saturday nights with plenty more booked for 2008. Saturday and Xmas entertainment Date Entertainment 19–22 Dec Christmas Draw 23 Dec Sloe Gin Comp - lunchtime 24 Dec Coroma Disco 26 Dec Charity Auction & Arfur Word (duo) - lunchtime 29 Dec Filmed Race Night 31 Dec Alpine Roadshow (disco) 05 Jan Lucky (band) 12 Jan Cookie Roadshow (disco) 13 Jan Balloon Race - lunchtime 19 Jan Envy (band) 26 Jan 40s, 50s & 60s themed night 02 Feb Filmed Race Night 09 Feb Cabaret night – 3 acts 16 Feb Gem Roadshow (disco) 23 Feb Mista Beat (band) 01 Mar Gold Disco 07 Mar Dinner Dance 08 Mar Social Evening 15 Mar TBA 22 Mar Coroma Disco 29 Mar TBA Christmas opening times Date Lunchtime Evening Fri 21 Dec 11:00 – 2:30 6:00 – 12:00 Sat 22 Dec 11:00 – 3:00 6:00 – 12:00 Sun 23 Dec 12:00 – 3:00 7:00 – 11:00 Mon 24 Dec 11:00 – 2:30 6:00 – 12:00 Tue 25 Dec 11:00 – 1:00 Closed Wed 26 Dec 11:00 – 4:00 Closed Thu 27 Dec 11:00 – 2:30 6:00 – 11:00 Fri 28 Dec 11:00 – 2:30 6:00 – 12:00 Sat 29 Dec 11:00 – 3:00 6:00 – 12:00 Sun 30 Dec 12:00 – 3:00 7:00 – 11:00 Mon 31 Dec 11:00 – 2:30 7:00 – 01:15 Tue 01 Jan 11:00 – 4:00 Closed 2007 charity fundraising The charities selected as beneficiaries for this year’s fundraising are as follows: Forest Dene hospital – to purchase blood pressure monitoring equipment Christchurch Junior School – to help with the costs of building a roof over their swimming pool. Mudeford Phoenix Girls and Ladies Football Club – to help with costs of kit and footballs. The club, formed in 2003 now runs five junior teams with around 70 young members and provides two after school club facilities. In addition to 20+ ladies play in the Hampshire League Bournemouth Hospital’s Jigsaw Appeal – to provide improved facilities for local cancer patients. As ever, there will be many fundraising activities over the festive period including the ever popular Charity Auction on Boxing Day. The donations have been flooding in thick and fast thanks to the hard work of the Entertainments Committee assisted by two or three enthusiastic members who kindly lent their support. If you, or your company can provide anything that could be auctioned off then please contact any member of the Entertainment Committee (if you’re not sure, ask at the bar!) Your letters & emails Once again it’s been a bumper three months with our second highest ever number of letters and emails received from the ever enthusiastic membership. It couldn’t quite match the all time high figure of one (the last issue) which admittedly I wrote myself. Well done members! Sports and games news Ladies darts The ladies darts league had a small Christmas raffle and friendly singles tournament at the club on Thurs 6th December. A pleasant evening was had by all and the darts league would like to thank the club for allowing us to use it as our Christmas venue once again. FootballThe football team are currently playing in Bournemouth Saturday Division 2 after winning Division 3 last season. We have made a steady start to the season in the league winning 4 and losing 2 so far. We reached the semi-finals of the Poole Bay cup before being knocked out by Division 1 side Southbourne. We also made the last 32 of the Hampshire Cup before losing to Wessex Combination team Totton & Ealing Reserves. En route we beat another Wessesx Combination team Horndean Reserves. As we are now out of all cup competetions, we can now focus on the league and trying to gain one of the top spots that will enable us to gain promotion to Division 1. We have a good squad of players at present but are always looking for that extra talent that will turn us into a competetive Division 1 team. For anyone interested, we train at Mudeford Wood Thursday nights 7-8 PM or contact one of the football club. Football bingo lottery update: congratulations to Richard Thomas who scooped the Xmas lottery prize of over £1000. Thanks to everyone who continues to participate in the lottery as this is a significant fund raiser for the football club. Merry Xmas, Rob Smith Chairman. Snooker – Eddie Carr Trophy This year’s Eddie Carr snooker trophy was won by Chris Beavis (below) Pussyfoot dinner 2008 Early warning – the Committee has agreed that this year’s Pussyfoot will be a “Collar and Tie” event as befits a sit down dinner. No more open neck Hawaiian shirts please gentlemen. Recent events EGM (04 Dec) – the members accepted the proposed new rules for the club subject to a few changes being incorporated. These rules should come into effect as of 01 January 2008. Ladies night – 31st October - 42nd Street was a great success. Space filler! Some more sports commentator quotes: "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat" (Ron Atkinson) "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost" (Frank Bruno) "There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes." (David Coleman) "There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people" (David Coleman) "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical" (Murray Walker) "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel" (Stuart Pearce) "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father" (Greg Norman) "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious" (Alan Minter) "Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running" (Ron Pickering) "Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansell. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers" (Murray Walker) "Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales" (Ron Greenwood) "A brain scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin" (Jo Sheldon) "The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation" (Ron Pickering) "That's inches away from being millimetre perfect" (Ted Lowe) "Bobby Gould thinks I'm trying to stab him in the back. In fact I'm right behind him" (Stuart Pearson) "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right" (Marlon Starling) "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again" (Terry Venables) "I can't tell who's leading - It's either Oxford or Cambridge" (John Snagge - Boat Race) "The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests - absolutely round." (Tony Crozier) Christmas corner It has been decided that our current approach to Christmas is extremely outdated and inefficient and a team of management consultants has been brought in to review our processes and streamline the operation. Therefore, please note that, with immediate effect: The solitary partridge in the pear tree does not adequately reflect the importance we place on teamwork and will be replaced with a bio-degradable plastic robin in a potted plant The two turtle doves have been axed as their exclusively heterosexual relationship does not fully value the equally important contribution made by same-sex dove couples The French hens have been cancelled due to concerns regarding bird flu The four calling birds have been replaced with an automated voicemail system featuring the Birdie Song for callers on hold. The five gold rings were thought to represent an inadequate spread of risk in our investment portfolio. Additionally, we took into account the elitist connotations of gold and indeed the working conditions of South African gold miners. Our investments will, in future be divided between environmentally friendly energy generation and fair trade tofu production. The six geese a-laying and their friends the swans a-swimming have been freed following threats by the animal liberation front The eight maids a-milking and nine ladies dancing both constituted a non-representative gender mix and served to perpetuate a negative image of females in the workplace. The dancers were also considered to not adequately represent those who experience mobility challenges. These positions will be re-branded as “Environmentally sustainable food production technician” and “Communications specialist promoting diversity and equality through the medium of bodily expression.” The former dancers will also be complimented with the addition of a significant proportion of “differently abled” performers. The leaping lords are becoming expensive to maintain and replace in the event of failure and, given their largely white, male, Anglo Saxon makeup, do not reflect our equal opportunities ethic and so have been dropped. It was further considered that a total of 23 musicians piping and drumming could not be justified in today’s economic climate and their presence served to discriminate against those not fortunate enough to play a musical instrument. They have therefore been replaced by a Val Doonican cassette. Contact info: (like you care!) Next issue: mid March – ish. Write to Newslink via the Club. E-mail xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Call Rich Leyshon on xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx